none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
