then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
