Pappa wants mamma naked
i barfeds in our rink
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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