Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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