i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
