you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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