This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
