I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
