Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
i've created a new STD.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
