Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
