She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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