WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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