girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We are two peas in an std pod
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
