You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
