Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
