i may or may not be watching the land before time
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
