the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
