He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
