Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
