but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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