I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
