shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I look excited, but its just a facade.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Couch. On fire.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
