you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
