You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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