I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
