8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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