Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
