its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
