if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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