I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
