I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
