I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
