UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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