My hand turned me down
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
