So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
