Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
