So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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