Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
