Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
how drunk are you?
Several
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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