hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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