I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
