I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
