just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
