the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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