they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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