Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
