Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
