chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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