do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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