hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
